{"id":34996,"date":"2019-02-02T07:59:31","date_gmt":"2019-02-02T12:59:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nomeatathlete.s1.cdadev.com\/?p=34996"},"modified":"2019-11-04T15:00:52","modified_gmt":"2019-11-04T20:00:52","slug":"the-ending-doesnt-matter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nomeatathlete.com\/the-ending-doesnt-matter\/","title":{"rendered":"The Ending Doesn&#8217;t Matter"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Corny as it sounds, I\u2019m still a sucker for the movie <em>Rudy<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But my favorite scene isn\u2019t the ending, where he fulfills his lifelong dream by not just getting into a game, but making a sack (though I admit love this part and cry every single time).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, it\u2019s this one:<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"video-container\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Rudy Practice with ND Victory March\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/UTK-M9YAnU8?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>No drama, no triumph. Just a guy getting bludgeoned on the practice field, over and over and over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If we didn\u2019t know he was ultimately going to make it, we\u2019d pity him \u2014 the way the coaches, the other players (the ones who belong there), and even his peers do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because despite the fact that he\u2019s made some progress \u2014 getting himself onto the practice squad as an undersized kid with bad grades, for whom just getting into college was a major hurdle \u2014 everybody knows he\u2019s not <em>actually<\/em> going to get to play for Notre Dame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s sad to see someone so full of delusion, accepting so much pain, seemingly for no reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course, in this case, we all know it leads to that happy ending. All the pain, failure, and disappointment is ultimately worth it, because in the end, Rudy wins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What I realize now, though, is that the ending doesn\u2019t matter.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s been ten years since I <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nomeatathlete.com\/wineglass-marathon-recap\/\">qualified for the Boston Marathon<\/a>, and gave a happy ending to my own, seven-year-long version of the <em>Rudy<\/em> story, in which I shaved 104 minutes off my time to get in. And it\u2019s now been five years since last time I trained seriously for anything, since I\u2019ve considered myself a runner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now that I\u2019m back, something has changed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What\u2019s different now is I realize I don\u2019t need the happy ending scene anymore. It doesn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In doesn\u2019t matter that Rudy ultimately gets his goal. Instead, it\u2019s when he\u2019s getting beaten up on the practice field where he has won. <em>This<\/em> is the entire point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They say the reason we set goals is for who we become in pursuit of them. A tired clich\u00e9, maybe. But now I know it\u2019s true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I finally did qualify for Boston, I was on a cloud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Elated. For a week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then for about month, I felt good every time I thought about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And then\u2026 nothing. The fire of seven years was extinguished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I didn\u2019t even train for Boston itself. Just did the bare minimum I could to make sure I\u2019d get across the finish line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A few years later, I wasn\u2019t even a runner anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My point is that I was better <em>before<\/em> I had achieved the goal \u2014 when I was failing, miserably and embarrassingly, because I had told everyone I knew that <em>this<\/em> would be the time I qualified, and they just had to come watch me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Failing, completely oblivious to the tragedy it must have been to watch me\u2026 but aware that&nbsp;I had failed just a little better than last time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That&nbsp;was the best I ever was as a runner. When I was failing, but feeding off any bit of progress I could find, I would lie in bed at night, barely able to wait until the next morning when I could go out and do it again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s the best part of the story, not the ending. And what I learned about myself there is the part that matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The success itself? Overrated, and probably unnecessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve said before that if I had been smarter about the whole process, I could have done it in three years, instead of taking seven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But now I realize the failure was what it was all about.&nbsp;If I could go back and do it all much smarter \u2014 with half the failure and suffering \u2014 I wouldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Getting knocked down and then standing back up \u2014 over and over and over \u2014 that\u2019s the good part.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Fast forward 10 years&#8230;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>I got into Muay Thai (Thai kickboxing) four months ago, and it\u2019s the first time I\u2019ve felt really excited about fitness since those Boston years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And I\u2019m really quite bad at it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Largely, it\u2019s because my hips are tight. I\u2019m the least flexible person in class. Fifteen years of training for marathons and ultras taught my body that hips and legs are for moving forwards and backwards \u2014 not for twisting to correctly throw a punch (with your core, not your arms), and especially not for pivoting on one leg and turning over your pelvis to deliver a body kick with the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In my first month of training, I brought home new bruises every day. Feet, shins, chest, you name it. I even bruised \u2014 or maybe cracked \u2014 a rib in my second class, when the force of someone\u2019s kick to the pads I was holding (incorrectly, I now know) drove my fist into my body. I immediately knew something was wrong. It was a month before I could sleep on that side again, and two before it wasn\u2019t agony to sneeze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Every time I think I\u2019m starting to get somewhere, the instructor corrects my form, points out a fundamental problem that prevents me from generating enough power. Or, more humbling still, hits me in the head after I throw a punch and don\u2019t bring my hands immediately back to protect my face again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And so this is hard. Harder than running ever was, even when I was new.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So how, I wonder, did I get addicted to it? Why, for those first few months, did I go every single day that my rib injury (and others) allowed me to?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I think it\u2019s because of the failure thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I\u2019m the least experienced, least flexible person on the mat, all I really have to fall back on is what running marathons and ultras taught me to be good at: how not to quit, even \u2014 no, especially \u2014 when it sucks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So if I can&#8217;t punch as hard, kick as high, or defend myself as well as everyone else, at least I can be the guy who never, ever stops. Who gets up every time. Who doesn&#8217;t ever quit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I can be&nbsp;the guy the younger, better fighters pity for all the pain he takes. I <em>want<\/em> to be that guy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What I\u2019ve learned about myself is that if I can find progress \u2014 even just a little, even when it\u2019s invisible to anyone but me \u2014 then I\u2019m happy. That\u2019s why I\u2019m having so much fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have no goal with Muay Thai. The people in my class fight on weekends, but I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ll ever want to do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At first this concerned me, made me wonder why I was putting so much energy into this new hobby. If there\u2019s no goal, what\u2019s the point?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now I get it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Get knocked down, stand back up. Among all the failure and suffering, find the shred of progress, and keep going. That\u2019s the point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The ending doesn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Corny as it sounds, I\u2019m still a sucker for the movie Rudy. But my favorite scene isn\u2019t the ending, where he fulfills his lifelong dream by not just getting into a game, but making a sack (though I admit love this part and cry every single time). Instead, it\u2019s this one: No drama, no triumph. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":34997,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[63],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-34996","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-motivation","8":"entry"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Ending Doesn&#039;t Matter | No Meat Athlete<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How I learned to focus on the journey and not the ending, to 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